The Secret Life of Patricia Williamson
by dlouc
Summary: It was like some sick nightmare, getting worse and worse. Patricia just never was able to realise she wasn't sleeping, wasn't imagining things. Piper had always told her that she needed to wake up, see the world for the terrible place it had become, but Patricia never could. Not until it was too late.
1. Just a Walk in the Night

**Patricia**

The night was so quiet. So peaceful. I looked to the sky, perfectly clear, lights piercing through the darkness. Glimmers of hope. But as I look to the stars, I find no help or pity in their glistening multitude. Just the cold, blank stare I am so familiar with.

The brutal wind, the brutal cold, the brutal guns, the brutal shouts. The brutal world. I am broken. We all are so broken. So hurt and scarred. So terribly beyond repair. I just want to fall. I want to fall and never get back up.

_I want to die._

The pain and the cold and the exhaustion fog my brain. Everything is spinning. I don't want to keep going. I can't keep going.

_I'm sorry Leisel._

My last thought before I collapse.


	2. Dust in the Wind

**Jerome**

I should be back at the house. I should be enjoying a snack, or maybe planning some epic prank with Alfie. Or maybe just doing nothing at all. Being lazy was good.

But no. Of course my partner for the science project is Fabian, and of course he insists on working on it in the middle of the night (ok, so maybe it was 8:30, but it was still dark out) three weeks before it was due (haven't you ever heard of procrastination, Fabian?!). Fabian had told me something about looking for nocturnal animals to photograph before he went off somewhere, just leaving me alone in the woods.

I followed the path, not really paying any attention to anything.

I was so done with this project. I was going back to the house. Fabian can wander around a forest at night taking his stupid pictures. I'll just print mine off the internet.

I turned a corner and nearly ran into someone. In a moment I realized it was not Fabian, but a girl I had never seen before. Short, brown hair cut sloppily near her scalp. A thin, pale, gaunt face. Her eyes were empty, dead. She stumbled forward, then crumbled.

Her face frozen in a silent scream. A gust of wind blew through the trees and she was gone. Dust blown away in the wind.


	3. The Other Forest

**Patricia**

For I moment I felt a warm breeze, almost like a distant dream washing over me. At least I think it was warmth. It's been so long I've forgotten what warmth feels like. The forest floor was suddenly bare, void of the ice encrusted over the browning leaves. Missing were the thousands of bloody footprints, buried in the constantly falling snow. There were no shouts, no sound of a firing gun. Everything was silent.

I was alone, standing in the middle of this vast, green forest filled with warmth.

I woke with a gasp. Leisel's holding me up.

"Stand up!" She hissed under her breath. "Hurry! Before they see you."

I stood up, somehow. The forest was spinning. I was so hungry. So thirsty. So exhausted.

I was so weak. Leisel started dragging me along so I didn't fall behind. I stumbled through the snow, my feet caked in blood. Leisel held onto to me, quickly pulling me up before anyone noticed me stumble. But she was so weak. I knew she couldn't hold out much longer.

"You have to stop." I whisper to her.

"What are you talking about?" She asked me under her breath.

"I can't..." I start to say.

"Shut up." she hissed.

"Leisel, you are dying..."

"We're all dying you idiot."

"Let me go."

"No." she said simply.

She was slowing down, her breathing becoming heavier.

"Leisel please."

"I am not leaving you!" She almost screamed.

Then something hit me. I couldn't breath, I couldn't see. I was being ripped away, torn apart.

I could hear Leisel's screams growing fainter and fainter. Then I hit the ground.

"Leisel?" I choked out, almost too weak to speak.

"Leisel?"

But I was alone. She was gone. They all were gone.


	4. The Reichstag Fire

**Patricia**

_I had only been asleep for an hour before the sirens started._

_The sirens and the smoke. That's all I can remember from that night._

_I was so young and naive then. I never really understood what was happening. I never understood why Motter looked so worried, or why Vater refused to leave the house. I didn't understand why our neighbors started to disappear._

_It had only been a week since the fire, though in my four year old mind I was convinced it had been much longer._

_I was woken the morning of March 6th by Motter, like always. She had the same distressed expression that had been plastered on her face for the past week. But something was different that morning. She pulled me out of bed and told me to get dressed, then rushed over to wake Piper. She hurried us downstairs. Vater was in the kitchen, whispering to someone over the telephone._

_"Girls, go outside." Motter said softly._

_"I don't want to!" Piper exclaimed, planting her small feet on the floor, her face scrunched up in a defiant glare. "I want to stay with you!"_

_Motter sighed, reached into her purse and pulled out a reichsmark._

_"Patricia dear, take your schwester to corner market and get yourselves a treat."_

_I quietly took the reichsmark in one hand and Pipers hand in the other and walked to the door. _

_"I don't want to leave!" Piper yelled._

_I knew something was weird. Motter never let us go anywhere alone, certainly not after the fire._

_The reichsmark felt heavy in my hand. I had never been given more than a reichspfennig, and that was only on my birthday. I didn't think much of it though. I didn't understand._

_Piper did, of course. She had always been ahead of her years. Piper struggled until we were out the door. Then she began to sob._

_"Piper. Look. Motter gave us a whole reichsmark!" I said, showing her the small silver coin triumphantly._

_"I don't want to leave." Piper muttered as we started to walk._

_"Piper, cheer up. Think of all the treats we can buy with this!" I said._

_"Patricia. Look around you! Everyone is disappearing. All of Vater's work friends, all of our neighbors. I don't want to leave! I'm scared!"_

_"Don't be. Berlin is safe enough." I said._

_"It was..." Piper said, looking across the street to the charred remains of Vater's "work building". "Now everyone is just going crazy. And it's all because of him!"_

_"What are you talking about?" I asked._

_"The fire! In the Reichstag!" Piper screamed._

_"The reitisca what?" I asked._

_"You wouldn't understand." Piper said, then walked ahead before I had a chance to ask her what she meant by that!?_

_We walked in silence down the street, soon reaching the corner market._

_"What do you want!?" I asked excitedly, looking around at all the sweets I had gazed upon many times before but was never able to buy._

_"Piper! We can get cake! Real cake!"_

_"I'm not hungry." Piper said.``_

_"Suit yourself."_

_I bought a small piece of cake and we left to go home._

_The church bells started to ring. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight times. We had been gone almost two hours._

_"Let's just go home." Piper said._

_We walked in silence for another few minutes before reaching our house._

_The door had been broken in at the lock. Muddy footprint covered the floor._

_"MOTTER! VATER" Piper screamed as soon as she saw._

_We searched the entire house, then again and again. But we never found them. I never saw my parents again._

* A reichsmark, adjusted for inflation is worth about 97 USD. A reichspfennig, adjusted for inflation, is worth about 1 USD


	5. The Strangers

**Patricia**

I could hear soft whispers, though couldn't make out any words. I was painfully aware of how much my head hurt.

I was completely surrounded in darkness. I then realized my eyes were closed. With great effort, I forced my eyes open.

I could see a face, just above mine. Blonde hair, blue eyes.

Panic shot through me. I let out a small scream and with every bit of energy I had let, I flung myself away. I dropped several feet before slamming into a narrow staircase and tumbling down.

"Get away from me" I screamed at the blonde boy, though it was only a whisper. Someone else stepped out from behind him. His dark hair and dangerous brown eyes looked odd beside the blonde boy. They seemed to be friends.

Nothing was making any sense.

"I don't understand you." The blonde boy said in an obvious English accent.

English. I hadn't heard anyone speak in English since Sarah.

"Who are you?" I choked out, trying to form the words Sarah had taught me.

He didn't answer, or perhaps I didn't hear him. I didn't know anymore. He cautiously walked up to me, scooping me into his arms before once again climbing up the narrow staircase.


	6. The Skeleton Girl

**Fabian**

I've never seen anyone so thin in my life. This girl, who looked as if she would crumble at any second, with her skeletal arms hanging limply at her side. She was so pale, so gaunt, so broken. It didn't seem possible that she was still alive.

"What are we going to do?" I asked Jerome for the tenth time.

"I told you! We'll take her to the attic then figure things out."

"We need to call 9-9-9." I said again.

"I know Fabian! I heard you the first time!" Jerome yelled at me.

"We shouldn't even be moving her!"

"Fabian, I told you already. Something weird is going on. I saw her in the woods 20 minutes before I found her on the porch." Jerome explained.

"So, that doesn't mean anything."

"You don't understand. I tried to help her the first time I saw her but she just... disappeared." Jerome continued to say.

"What do you mean."

"She literally vanished, right in front of me." Jerome said.

"It was dark out." I offered.

"No. It wasn't like that. I'm telling you, something weird is going on.

"So, what? Are we just going to hide her in the attic?" I asked.

"Yeah." Jerome said.

"I was being sarcastic!"

"Well, I'm not." Jerome shouted.

"Shut up! Someone will hear us!" I hissed.

Jerome stepped onto the landing and carefully opened the attic door. We slipped in, trying to be as silent as possible (though probably not nearly well enough). I pulled out a torch and switched it on. A dull light blanketed the small room, illuminating random junk that had compiled over years of neglect. I've never been in here before.

Jerome carefully set the girl down on the worn wood floor.

Her breath was shallow, but she seemed alive.

"What's your name?" Jerome asked the girl.

She didn't answer.

"What is your name?" I asked.

"Liesel." She said softly. "Where is Liesel?"

"Your name is Liesel?"

"No." She said, starting to cry. "Where is Liesel?"

"What is your name?" Jerome asked again, ignoring her question.

"Where is Liesel?" The girl was close to sobbing now.

"I don't know. Can you tell us what your name is?

"Patricia." She said softly.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

Patricia smiled a little, then said simply, "We went for a walk."


	7. Free at Last

**Patricia**

I woke to find myself surrounded by sunlight, something that I haven't been able to say for years.

"I got you some breakfast."

The blonde boy was standing in the doorway, holding a plate piled high with more food than I've seen in years.

"I'm not hungry." I said. The words were becoming easier to remember now.

"You look like you were half starved to death. You really should eat." He said.

I let out a small laugh. This was all just too bizarre.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." I mumbled, taking the plate he had brought me. "Thanks for the food."

"If you need anything else, just ask."

"Wait." I said just as he was starting to leave.

I paused, trying to think of the words. Liesel would know what to say, she was always better at English than me.

"What is you name?" I finally asked, though I knew that wasn't right.

"My name?" He asked.

I nodded.

"Jerome. And the other guy is Fabian."

"Why are you speaking English?" I asked.

"Well, um… We're in England." He said, a bit uncertainly.

"What? No. I… what? No. I was in Poland. I was just in Poland." I said. "I'm in Poland."

Jerome looked a bit confused, opening his mouth to say something then closing it again.

"Well, um, you're in England now." He finally said.

England. I was actually in England.

I let out a laugh. Then I couldn't stop. I laughed harder than I can remember ever laughing before. Jerome looked at me like I was insane. Which I probably was.

I couldn't believe it. England. I was actually in England. I had wanted to go to England so badly for so many years. I wanted to be in England more than anything. England meant freedom. And now, I just want to go back to Poland. I don't want this freedom. I just want to be home.

Home.

And just like that, laughter melted away. The memories flashed across my eyes, blurring out the rest of the world. I felt like they would strangle me. I almost wished they would. I wish I'd take a breath, only to find that air won't fill my lungs. I wish I could watch as everything faded away. Then it'd just be me. Alone in the darkness. Free at last.


	8. No One Comes Back

**Patricia**

_Piper and I sat in silence in our ruined living room for hours, just staring off into nothing._

_Neither of us knew what to do. I couldn't ever remember being away from Motter and Vater in my life. Piper had her head buried in her arms, sobbing quietly, but even then I never cried. I just sat there in shock, looking over the room, over and over again._

_The smashed family photo in the corner, the bloodstain on the wall, the footprints leading to the kitchen, the mysterious holes in the wall and the doorway, the little metal casings that were on the floor, the knocked over chair in the doorway to the kitchen, Vater's bookcase, now half empty with his books strewn around the room, lying open with pages torn out. The small window on the left wall was smashed in, Motter's plates and cups that she told us never to touch lay shattered on the floor at the base of the cabinet, bits of gold leaf pottery seemed to have spread to the entire room. I could see more blood in the kitchen from where I sat._

_A loud knock echoed through the empty house. Piper raised her small head from her arms, looking nervously to the front door. I started to stand up, but Piper yanked me back down, raising her finger to her lips. We sat completely still, in the empty silence of the house._

_"Patricia! Piper! It's Tante Edith! Let me in!" A voice yelled from outside._

_I looked to Piper, who nodded and let go of my arm. I jumped up and ran to the door, flinging it open to find a tall woman standing on the stoop._

_"Oh Piper, or are you Patricia? I'm sorry I could never tell. Where is your schwester?" The woman asked._

_I stared back at her blankly. I have never seen this woman before in my life._

_The woman stared back for a second, then seemed to realize what I was thinking._

_"I'm your Tante Edith. Your Motter's schwester." The woman explained. "Where is your Motter?"_

_"They took her." I said._

_The woman, who I guess is Tante Edith, looked horrified. _

_"Where is your schwester?" She asked again._

_I silently pointed to the living room._

_Tante Edith ran past me and disappeared around the corner._

_I followed her back to the living room._

_"Girls, pack your things." She said to us._

_"Are we going somewhere?" I asked._

_"Yes, we are going on a train. Now go pack your things."_

_Piper stood up and together the two of us walked back to the front of the house and up the stairs to our room._

_"Piper! A train! How exciting!"_

_"I don't want to leave." She said dully._

_"Why not?" I asked._

_"Motter and Vater might come back." She said._

_"No." I said quietly._

_"What?"_

_"Piper, no one comes back. You know that." I said._

_"I know."_


	9. Alone in the Darkness

**Patricia**

I gave up on keeping track of time day ago. The attic was always so dark, the window had been boarded up for some reason. Day, night, it doesn't matter to me anymore. I rarely slept, the nightmares were just too hard to deal with. The days passed so slowly. The darkness was so lonely. So terrifying. Somedays, I would awake to the darkness, and for a split second think I was back in that cell, unable to breathe. I would panic, before finding that breath could fill my lungs. I saw them in the darkness, all the time. Milda, Rose, Sarah, Emily. And Liesel. Staring at me through the veil. I could hear the screaming from the small brick buildings on the other side of the fence. The room was filled with smoke, the smell of burning flesh. I knew that smell anywhere. Malinda vanished. They all did, until only Liesel remained.

It is so cold in the attic. So cold.


	10. Away From Home

**Patricia**

_"Ok. Let's go girls. Train leaves in half an hour." Tante Edith said._

_Piper and I stood in our ruined living, each with a small bag of our few possessions._

_"What about Annelise?" Piper asked._

_"Who?" Tante Edith asked._

_"Annelise. We can't leave Annelise." Piper said quietly._

_Tanta Edith stared at us like we were crazy._

_"Baby Annelise. Motter always told us we have to look out for her." I explained._

_"Who is Annelise?" Tante Edith asked us._

_"She is Baby Annelise." I told her. I couldn't understand how she didn't know Annelise._

_"Our schwester." Piper whispered._

_Tante Edith stared at us awhile longer before clapping her hands together and exclaiming, "Ah! Yes! Baby Annelise. Can you get her, Piper?"_

_Piper nodded timidly before running out of the room, while Tante Edith muttered to herself, "Schneiden Sie mich aus meiner eigenen Schwester das Leben? Der Nerv."_

_Piper returned a moment later with Baby Annelise, who had started to scream._

_"Ok, let's go!" Tante Edith said cheerily, leading the way out the door and to a taxi waiting on the curb._

_I heaved Piper's bag along with mine across the sidewalk, dragging it to the cab and tried desperately to lift it into the trunk, but nearly fell over before the cab driver noticed and came out to help. Tante Edith stood on the curb, admiring her reflection in the car window._

_Piper climbed into the car, and I followed. Annelise continued to scream, her small face all scrunched up and red._

_"Do you think she is hungry?" I asked Piper._

_"I think she's just scared." Piper told me._

_"I am too." I announced._

_Just then, Tante Edith climbed in and we were off._

_Annelise's cries were growing louder and more frantic._

_"Piper!? Will you shut that baby up?!" Tante Edith finally shouted._

_Piper looked stunned. Motter had never yelled at us._

_"Shhhhhhh. It's ok." Piper whispered to Annelise, rocking her gently in her arms. At three, she was already a better mother than Tante Edith ever could be._


	11. Home

**Patricia**

_The stairs rose almost vertically to the sky. I was so convinced that I would simply never reach the top. Tante Edith had already disappeared behind a door high above the small landing I stood on. With both my bag and Piper's in hand, I took my first step onto the first stair, nearly stumbling back down the moment I lifted my foot. The bags were each half my size. Piper carefully climbed up, clinging to Annelise as hard as her tiny hands would allow. After an hour (Piper insisted only five minutes had passed), I lugged the two bags onto the small landing at the top of the stairs and slipped behind the door._

_"Patty! Look!" Piper called from the window when she saw me._

_I dropped the bags and made my way across the small living room the the window Piper was standing at._

_"Look!" She said excitedly, pointing down to a group of small boats floating down the canal._

_"I don't like Amsterdam." I said quietly. "I want to go home."_

_"This is home." Tante Edith said cheerily from behind us. I hadn't even noticed her standing there._

_"Your room is up those stairs." She said, pointing to another incredibly steep staircase. "I'll be home soon girls."_

_She grabbed her purse and slipped out the door before Piper or I could say a word._

_We waited for hour, wandering mindlessly through the narrow rooms of the canal house. The last light of day glistened on the murky waters below, and still Tante Edith did not appear around the corner, or come through the doorway. The stairs remained silent._

_Piper had already dragged our bags up to our new room and was busy "unpacking" when I finally climbed up to the little room. It looked more like a short hallway than a room, but then again all the rooms looked like that. The walls brown, the ceilings low, even for me. A single window, bolted firmly shut, overlooked the canal below. Two narrow beds were shoved up against each wall, and a small chest was placed below the window. Piper had somehow found a candle, which was now burning on the chest, providing the only light in the room._

_"Where's Annelise gonna sleep?" I asked._

_Piper pointed to a corner of the room hidden behind one of the beds._

_"I found that in the kitchen." She said._

_I walked over and saw a small wooden crate, the bottom covered by a worn blanket I recognized as Piper's. Annelise was sleeping softly._

_"What time is it?" I asked, noticing the sky was now completely black._

_Piper crawled over to the hole in the floor where the staircase started. She stuck her head down then proudly announced that it was ten o'clock._

_"Let me see!" I said, laying down next to her and poking my head through the hole so I could see the room below. A clock hung on the opposite wall, just like the one at home. And just like the one at home, I couldn't make any sense of the little metal rods slowly turning around the face of the clock._

_"I'm tired." Piper moaned. "I'm going to sleep."_

_"Tante Edith isn't back yet! We haven't had supper yet."_

_"I don't care." Piper said, climbing into one of the tiny beds. "Goodnight."_

_"Goodnight." I mumbled grumpily._

_I sat on the floor, letting my legs dangle through the hole in floor, but after a few minutes I could hardly sit up, so I crawled into the other bed and curled myself up in the thin, worn blanket, trying to keep out the cold._


	12. Sterben Camp

**Patricia**

The door to the attic opened again, and Fabian slipped in.

Today must have been cloudy. The little slits of sunlight that usually poked through the boards were gone.

Fabian handed me a plate of fruit before taking a seat beside me.

"I've been thinking." He said.

I nodded, too busy eating to say a word. I hadn't tasted fruit since… well I couldn't remember actually.

Fabian didn't say anything for a moment. The look on his face appeared to suggest that he had forgotten how to speak at all. He opened his mouth to say something, but would always close as if he suddenly thought it was a bad idea. Finally, he managed a few words. "Well, it's just… You're so… It doesn't…"

"What the hell happened to you?" He finally asked.

I didn't answer. I didn't know how to answer.

"Patricia you can tell me." Fabian went on.

I didn't know. Thinking back, I had never known what was going on. It was like some sick nightmare, getting worse and worse and worse and by the time I realized I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't imagining things, well it was too late. Maybe I didn't want to believe what was happening. That's what Piper had always told me. That I needed to wake up, see the world for the terrible place it had become. She had known right from the beginning, but I never listened to her. She knew the moment we had to start wearing the stars.

"Where did you get that?" Fabian asked when I didn't answer.

"What?"

"Your tattoo." He said.

That damn tattoo. No matter what I did, I was never able to get rid of it. I would gladly cut off my arm if it meant I would never have to look at it again. A19623. My name was the last thing I had, and they managed to take that too.

"I was relocated to the countryside." I tried to explain. I didn't know what else to call it. That's what they always said it was. "Um… Rose said it was a Obóz Zagłady."

"I don't understand." Fabian told me.

I closed my eyes, trying to focus on something. Anything. Just not this. The memories were overpowering. It was like suffocating all over again. Breathing, but not breathing at all.

I took a shaky breath, keeping my eyes clench shut as if that would keep out my mind.

"A camp. In the... countryside." I whispered.

"What?" Fabian asked.

"A sterben camp."

"Patricia, what are you talking about?"

"Auschwitz I think it was called. I'm not sure what it would be in English. I just know the German na…" I said softly.

"No. That's impossible." Fabian muttered. He seemed to be talking more to himself than anyone.

He fell silent and completely still. His face me of those of the countless people pulled from mess of burnt brick and ash that littered the streets of Rotterdam, frozen in confusion and the smallest hint of fear.

"What year is it?" He finally said.

It was certainly an odd question. Why would he not know the year? But I was too tired to complain. I felt completely defeated.

"1945." I said.

Fabian stood up and left the attic without another word.


	13. Gone

**Patricia**

_When I woke the next morning, I found myself alone in the tiny room._

_It was still early, as far as I could tell._

_I threw the blanket of myself and climbed out of bed. The room was absolutely freezing, so I wrapped myself in the blanket again then climbed down the stairs._

_Piper was in the kitchen, sitting on the countertops and mixing something together._

_"What are you doing?" I asked groggily. Annelise's box was on the countertop next to Piper, and I could hear her screaming from inside._

_"I'm making breakfast." Piper said. "Motter used to make this I think."_

_Piper grabbed a spoon and scooped a huge portion of beige gunk onto a plate and handed it to me._

_"Ewwwww! I don't wanna eat this!" I sat, pushing the plate away from myself. "I'm waiting for Tante Edith to come back."_

_"Aren't you hungry?" Piper asked._

_"I don't care. I'll wait."_

_And wait I did. All day. I checked the window every five minutes, but she was never on the street below. Once again, the sun started to set, and I felt like I was going to faint. Reluctantly, I grabbed my plate, which was still waiting for me on the counter, and began eating. The gunk had become cold and brittle. I nearly broke the plate trying to tear off a piece. I managed, somehow, only get something that tasted like wet cardboard. I choked it down and was going to fling the rest in with the rubbish, but I really was hungry. I tore off another piece, then another. It tasted so awful, but before long it was gone and I wasn't hungry. Piper had already carried Annelise back up into our room and both had gone to sleep. I climbed the stairs and sat on the edge of the room again, just like last night, waiting for Tante Edith to come home. She never did. The last thing I remember was almost falling through the hole in the floor, and Piper dragging me to my bed before going back to bed herself. _


	14. The Attic

Patricia

"You didn't eat again." The voice cut through the silence.

Like I didn't know that.

Fabian sat down beside me near the window.

I haven't seen him in a few says. He's been avoiding me. Jerome told me.

"I'm sorry. About leaving the other day." He said quickly. "I shouldn't have just left like that. I just didn't know what to say."

"So I take it you've heard of Auschwitz?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"And you've heard what it's like there?" I asked.

"Yeah." Fabian said softly.

I nodded slightly, not really sure what else to do. For the first time, though, I felt like he finally understood at least a little of my world.

"And you left because I thought it was 1945?" I asked.

"What?"

"The date." I said, holding up some newspaper Jerome had dropped yesterday. I had looked over it, cover to cover. It was so strange, full of colourful pictures as if pulled straight out of a dream. The words made little sense, but the date in the corner had stuck in my mind. No matter what, I could never shake it.

Fabian didn't answer.

"August 26th, 2009." I said.

"Patricia…" Fabian started to say.

"It's some kind of joke, right?" I asked.

Fabian opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. The look on his face was answer enough.

"You're kidding." I muttered.

"I realise this must be hard to understand…" Fabian started to say.

"Hard to understand?!" I screamed. "It was just 1945! And now…"

"I don't know how this happened." Fabian said quietly.

"This is insane! I'm insane!" I yelled.

"No." Fabian.

"What do you mean no? It was just 1945! This is impossi…"

Then something caught my eye. Nothing specific, just an overpowering feeling of familiarity. And that's when I realised I knew this place.

This was the attic. The attic with the round walls and boarded windows and the smashed in wall in the corner that had been hastily repaired. This was the attic with the scorch marks in the corner, still, from the freak bombing all those years ago. This was the attic that Sarah always told us about, late at night when we could almost forget about the horrid world we lived in. This was the attic in House of Anubis.

"This isn't the first time something like this has happened here, is it?" I asked.

"This place is weird. Things happen here without any logical explanation." Fabian said.

"It's really 2009." I muttered to myself.

"Yeah."

"This is insane." I whispered.

"I know."


	15. A New Life

**Patricia**

_It was three days before Tante Edith came home._

_I had been sitting on the windowsill, starting at the boats pass by below. Piper and Annelise were already asleep, just like the night before. I was about to give up and go to bed myself, when I saw someone at the front door. A mysterious dark figure fiddling with the lock. This figure disappeared through the doorway, and a few moments later I heard the footsteps on the stairs. Tante Edith practically flung herself through the front door, flinging her coat on the nearest chair. Then she noticed me staring at her._

_"Piper dear. It's late. You should be in bed."_

_Then, without another word, she walked away and disappeared into the room we were instructed never to enter._

_And so began the way of life for the next five years._

_That next morning, I was awoken by the familiar smell of fresh pfannkuchens. When I got downstairs, Piper was already sitting at the huge dining room tabled._

_"Good morning Patricia!" Tante Edith called from the kitchen. I looked to Piper, who looked just as confused as I felt._

_Tante Edith emerged from the kitchen carrying two small plates piled high with the delicious pastry._

_"Pfannkuchens!" I yelled with excitement at the sight of it._

_"Pannekoeken." Tante Edith corrected. "You girls are in Holland now, you need to learn Dutch."_

_I shrugged, taking one plate and handing the other to Piper before completely devouring every last crumb. Finally, a good breakfast. Tante Edith slipped out at some point during breakfast that morning, turning up again around dinner time to cook us supper. This repeated for the next week. She'd make us breakfast, then just leave us to our devices for the day before coming home for dinner._

_In an out. Never home for more than a few hours. Piper ended up taking caring of Annelise and me most of the time._


	16. A Second Chance

Patricia

It's been three days. I haven't spoken to Fabian since, and he hasn't tried to say anything either. Jerome would come every so often, but he never said much. He tried to figure out why we were both acting so strange, but we wouldn't talk.

This particular morning happened to be sunny, the first time the sun had poked through the clouds for weeks. I had started to walk again. Well, I tried at least. A few steps and I would be still completely out of breath, but at least I could stand now. And I looked a little less like a zweig, as Tante Edith always put it. I suppose that meant I was doing better. I honestly didn't care that much. I was just so tired of sitting around all day.

"You're walking!" Someone said. I almost fell in my haste to turn around.

"Sorry." Fabian said, shutting the door behind him.

"I got you this." He said softly, taking out a sheet of paper and handing it to me.

"What is this?" I asked.

"Read it."

"I can't read English well." I said, trying to sound annoyed, but my voice was weak and strained and sounded more discouraged than anything.

"Just try."

I sighed, unfolding the sheet and studying the words.

I hadn't learned to read English. Not well at least. Sarah had only taught me how to speak. I wasn't even going to try at first, but the words were so similar to Dutch that I found I had only a little trouble understanding them.

"This is an acceptance letter. Somebody got a scholarship." I said after a few moments. "Why show this to me?"

"That's your's." Fabian said, grinning from ear to ear.

"What?"

"I wrote to the principal about you!" Fabian said proudly.

"What did you tell him!?" I would have screamed if I could.

"Don't worry. Nothing much. I just told him your name and that you were wanting to go to the school but your family couldn't afford it. He set you up with a full scholarship!"

"You're kidding" I muttered, looking over the letter again. This time I noticed a name in the top left corner. Patricia Williamson.

"My last name is Rosenthal." I said, handing him the letter back.

"Sorry, I didn't know your last name, so I kinda just guessed. I hope you don't mind."

I was too stunned to speak. I hadn't really thought about going back to school. I hadn't been since the clandestine one Rose found in Warsaw. I had always assumed I had fallen too far behind. Well, I guess I always assumed I'd die before I had the chance to go back to school.

Fabian smiled once again, standing up to leave. Before he left, he set a small package on the ground.

"School starts tomorrow. You'll need this uniform. And try and eat more. People are going to think you are anorexic."


	17. First Grade Again

**Patricia**

The uniform fell loosely on my thin shoulders, making me look even thinner than I really was. I had no idea what I was doing. Every moment I thought to myself that I would just turn around and go back, but then I'd take another step. One step in front of another. It was all I could do. Through the field, passed the garden, under the massive stone towers that seemed to be everywhere. It was like some sick dream. I didn't want to be here. I didn't ask for any of this.

Before I knew it, I was in the brightly lit hallway, and I knew there was no turning back.

I glanced down at the crumpled sheet of paper Fabian had given me yesterday. The words melted into each other, twisting around the sheet as if to escape my gaze. I had no idea how I was supposed to be able to keep up in class if I couldn't even read without sounding out each word under my breath, over and over again until it sounded like something I vaguely remember.

I turned the corner, heading towards the classroom at the end of the hall. 309. Social Studies.

I pushed through the wooden door just as the bell sounded through the halls.

"Ah! You're here!" A woman in her mid-forties said cheerily.

"Everyone! This is the new student. You transferred from Winchester Academy, right?"

Fabian sat in the front, staring me down as if his eyes were screaming at me to play along.

I nodded slightly. I didn't even know what Winchester was.

The woman, who I assumed to be the teacher, turned to me grinning. She said something else that I didn't quite catch. Why did they all have to speak so quickly?

I looked to Fabian for help, but he was looking down at his book.

So I just stood there smiling, hoping my new teacher would let me just sit down already.

"Your name dear? Could you tell us?" She said, this time a bit slower.

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "I'm Patricia Ro… Williamson. Patricia Williamson." My voice wavered. No matter how much I practiced, speaking with a British accent it just never seemed right. I would do anything, though, to avoid more questions. I already looked so much different than everyone else. My hair, standing up in small spikes on top of my head (there wasn't enough left to do anything else), and my small figure were drawing enough attention already.

"And how old are you Patricia?"

I looked around the class, trapped in the gazes of my classmates.

"15" I said automatically. Honestly, I didn't really know. For the longest time, I didn't really bother keeping track. All I knew was if you were 15, you lived. Younger and you died. Simple as that. I've been telling everyone I was 15 for the past three years.

The teacher, who introduced herself as Ms. Hess, released me from the front of the room to retreat within the safety of a small desk. Shortly after that, she began her lecture. I caught a few things here and there, but I didn't really feel like trying to understand what she was saying. Most of it just went right over my head. From what I gathered, she was talking about The Great War (they call it WWI now). After what seemed like ages, the bell rung. I grabbed my bag (which Fabian had handed me this morning, though it was completely empty) and had almost made it out the door before this blonde girl who had sat next to me pulled me aside before I could get away.

"Hi! I'm Amber!" She said cheerfully. Why was everyone here so damn happy all the time?

"Mick! Get over here!" She shouted to someone down the hall. "He's my boyfriend." She added.

A broad-shouldered boy, only about an inch taller than me, lumbered down the hallway, fighting his way through the crowd before popping up beside Amber. His messy blonde hair hung low over his forehead, nearly covering his bright blue eyes.

"Mick! This is Patricia! She just moved here from Winchester." Amber explained to the blonde boy, who I guess is called Mick.

"Cool." He said, not really paying me any attention. He was too busy staring at Amber.

Amber didn't seem to notice. She was too busy firing off a million questions I couldn't understand. She laughed, finally saying something slowly. "We don't get new people very often."

I opened my mouth to say something, but Amber just started talking to me again, far too quickly to understand much of anything.

"Patricia!" Someone said. To my relief, Fabian pushed his way through Amber and Mick. "Come on. Don't want to be late!" He said quickly, starting to drag me away from Amber and Mick.

"Thanks." I told him as soon as Amber and Mick were out of earshot.

"Anytime."

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Thankfully, my other teachers didn't have quite the same reaction Ms. Hess did. I tried to understand what was being said at times, but it was just so exhausting I gave up after only a few minutes. Fabian offered to tutor me after school to help me catch up. I really just needed help with English. I knew it would get better, though. At least I hoped so. I remember my first day of school. It seemed like a lifetime ago now. I had only lived in Amsterdam a few months and spoke little Dutch. Piper and I always spoke in German, even though Tante Edith kept telling us we needed to learn Dutch. She was never around enough, though, to ever make much of a difference. The first day of school came and everything was all in Dutch. I probably had the worst grades in my class. I couldn't see how I could possibly ever be able understand anything. Things did get better though, and while I wasn't actually fluent until 5th grade, I could understand enough. I knew this wasn't first grade anymore. Things would be much harder now. But I liked to think of it like that. I could forget everything that had happened that last 10 years. I could try to act normal. I could pretend I wasn't broken. I might even be happy once in awhile. I could be a small child again, seeing the world as the beautiful place I once thought it was.


	18. The Nuremberg Laws

**Patricia**

Amsterdam, 1935

_I lugged my bookbag and the paper bag from the market up the staircase, already a little happier now the school day was over. I hated it at school. I wasn't sure how I'd last until the end of the year. It's only been two weeks! Everyone thought I talked funny, and I couldn't read or speak hardly at all. Everyone thinks I'm stupid. I hate Dutch!_

_"Patty! Patty!" Annelise screamed, running across the room as soon as I poked my head around the door._

_I dropped my bag, picking up Annelise and swinging her around as she laughed her little head off._

_"You're getting so big!" I told her._

_"I know! I'm three now!" She said proudly before toddling off again towards the kitchen._

_"Piper?!" I yelled._

_Piper always goes straight home to take care of Annelise after school, while I go to the market to get food for dinner. Tante Edith is rarely home during the day during the week, so Piper has really taken over for her. During school, our neighbor, Missen Mulder, watches Annelise. I don't know what we would do without her._

_"Hi Patricia! I'm in here!" She yelled down from our bedroom._

_I set the food down on the countertop and went up to the bedroom._

_Piper was busy making Annelise's bed. Annelise had gotten too big for her box when she was about 2. Piper had tried figuring out how to make her a bigger bed but Tante Edith noticed and ended up getting another bed like Piper's and mine for Annelise. It was about the only thing she's ever done anything for us._

_"I got everything you told me to at the market." I told Piper. "Well, except milk. And I couldn't buy any meat either. Tante Edith didn't leave enough money."_

_"So we have only bread cocoa?" Piper asked._

_"And lard." I added._

_"How much money did she leave you?" Piper nearly shouted._

_"Two guilders."_

_Piper sighed. At first she'd gotten angry when we couldn't buy enough food. She'd yell at me for not bringing home enough to eat, then she'd scream at Tante Edith for not leaving enough money. But that was when the money had first started to run out. Before Piper realised it wasn't Tante Edith, it was just the depression. Now she just sighs, quietly making whatever she can with the ever-shrinking bag of food._

_Piper quickly finished with Annelise's bed and went downstairs to make dinner. She made all the meals now when we were alone and whenever Tante Edith is in one of her "states". Piper says she's an alcoholic, whatever that means. Over the past two years we've been here, Piper has actually gotten quite good at cooking, which is good 'cause she was awful when we first got here._

_I followed shortly behind._

_"Pip! Patti! Can we play now?" Annelise asked as soon as we came down._

_"I gotta make dinner, hon, sorry." Piper said._

_"I'll play with you!" I told her._

_"Yay!"_

_Annelise ran away giggling. She was always so happy._

_"Patti! Look I made a new doll!" Annelise said pulling out a clump of sticks with several scraps of fabric sticking out at random places._

_Annelise set the doll down next to the others she's made. We were never able to buy anything for her, we hardly had enough money for food and our clothes were never far from rags. Piper says that once the depression is over, things will get better, but I think she's just saying that._

_"Oh! That's wonderful!" I said._

_"Her name is Laura!" Annelise said laughing. "She doesn't have parents, like me!"_

_Before I could respond, Piper yelled from the kitchen._

_"Patricia! Something's happened! I need to talk to you!"_

_She was speaking German, which we hardly used anymore. Annelise hated it when we did because she could never understand us._

_"Coming!" I called back. "I'll be right back." I told Annelise._

_I got up, running a little bit to the kitchen. I knew this had to be serious._

_"What?" I asked Piper._

_"There was just the rally in Nuremberg." Piper said quickly in German._

_"What rally? And what is Nuremberg?" I asked her._

_"Nuremberg is in Germany." Piper said slowly. She always explained things to me like I was stupid. "And the Nazi rally was there."_

_"Um ok." I said, though I still didn't really know what she was talking about. "I'm going to play with Annelise now."_

_"Nazis! The people who took Motter and Vater. And they say now that we aren't citizens of Germany anymore."_

_"Talk normal!" Annelise yelled from the parlor. "I can't hear!"_

_"Just a sec!" I yelled back to Annelise._

_I turned back to Piper._

_"What are you talking about?" I asked her. "What is citzinchip?"_

_"Citizenship." Piper said slowly. "The person who took Motter and Vater now says that we aren't German."_

_"Hitler? We are just 6! Why does he even care about us?" I asked._

_"No! Not just us! All Jews!" Piper explained._

_"So?" I still didn't see how this was all that important. We didn't even live in Germany anymore. We lived in the Netherlands. "And what is a jew?" I asked._

_"Nevermind." Piper muttered._

_*Guilders were the form of currency in the Netherlands in 1935. At that time, two guilders were worth about $15 USD (with inflation)_


	19. Lindengracht

**Patricia**

**December, 1935**

_The wind swept through the narrow streets, blowing through the snow and off the water in the canals below. Thick clouds blocked out the little sunlight left , leaving everything grey, cold, and unforgiving. My thin, worn, sad excuse for a coat, full of holes and at least two sizes too small left me feeling as if I was made of ice. I clutched a small silver coin in my hand, the one guilder Tante Edith had left us this week for food. Week after week, the money left for us seemed to disappear. The small pile normally left had shrunken to just a few coins, and now I only had one. We had stopped eating breakfast, and lunch was never more than a small piece of bread. Instead of meat at dinner, Piper had started making what she called billigfleisch, which was basically cornmeal, water, and lard. But that was when I had at least a few guilders. At least two! One guilder can hardly buy a loaf of bread. But here I am in Lindengracht, wandering mindlessly through the maze of stalls piled high with bread, cheese, fruit, pastries, with only a guilder to last the week._

_ The light of day was fading, the greyness growing darker and colder by the minute. The stalls were starting to close down and the market clearing out. I went up to a vendor selling bread, reluctantly handing over the guilder in exchange for a loaf. The woman behind the stall, short and stout with a nasty grimace and scowl permanently etched on her face, snatched the guilder, turning her back to fetch a loaf of bread. On the counter sat a plate of freshly baked rolls, golden and emanating heat and the most wonderful smell I could dream of. Then I saw the price. Half a guilder a piece. My heart sunk, though I don't know why. I should be used to this happening by now. We've never been able to afford much beyond what was absolutely necessary. It was just that I was so hungry and it was so cold. And before I hardly knew it, I had shoved three rolls into my pockets and sleeves while the woman's back was still turned. I scanned everyone around me, but it didn't seem that anyone noticed. Someone tapped my shoulder and I jumped, but it was only the woman, holding out a loaf of bread. She glared at me as I sullenly took the loaf, but she didn't say a word. I muttered a quick thanks then ran, all the way home. The rolls burned my arms, but I didn't mind. I was too excited, too proud. For once, I finally felt like I had some control over my own life. For once I could finally do something._


	20. A Glimmer of Hope

**Patricia**

I was standing alone in a familiar hallway. The worn wood floors and the chipped walls, soaked in the memories from when I lived here, were ablaze in the fading light of that bitter May night. The hallway was closing in on me, the ceiling and walls collapsing in on themselves as I stood the amongst the smoke and ruin. My shoulder burned in pain, my legs bleeding through my torn skirt. All I could hear was a sharp ringing. Then everything began to fade. The memory swirling around, getting lost in the background. And then I was on a street. All around me, it seemed the world was on fire. I could feel the explosions in my bones, the buildings all around falling in on themselves. And a girl with soft brown curls and a caring smile, curled up on the ground in a pool of blood and a bullet through her brain.

A faint shouting broke through the ringing, growing louder and louder.

"Patricia!"

My eyes flew open. A girl with short, straight brown hair stood over, her face hidden in the shadows. But I could recognize her voice.

"Joy?"

"You were shouting in your sleep." She explained.

"Sorry." I muttered.

"Don't apologize." She ordered, sitting beside me on my bed. "Are you ok?"

She didn't understand, not like Fabian did.

Fabian understood.

Fabian understood.

I threw the blanket off myself and ran out of the room.

"Where are you going?" Joy whispered, but I was already flying around the corner.

I nearly flung myself down the stairs, sliding down the hall to Fabian's room. I threw open the door, not bothering to knock.

"Fabian!" I whispered.

I was met with only silence.

"Fabian! Get up!" I whispered again, stumbling blindly through the dark room.

This time I got a soft response.

"Patricia? What are you doing!?"

I reached out, grabbing Fabian's arms and dragging him out of the room.

"What the hell? Let me go!" Fabian demanded, but I ignored his protests and dragged him across the hall and out the back door.

"Patricia! Stop!" He yelled, breaking out of my grip and falling down the back steps. "What is this about?!"

"You knew!" I said. "You knew!"

"Knew what?" Fabian nearly screamed.

"Auschwitz! You knew about it!" I said accusingly.

"Yeah. So?"

"How did you know?" I asked.

Fabian pulled himself up from where he'd fallen on the ground, slowly climbing the steps again until he stood directly in front of me.

"You are insane!" He whispered.

"Just answer me!" I screamed at him. "How did you know about Auschwitz!?"

"I don't know! It's pretty famous." Fabian mumbled. "You know it's like three in the morning, right?"

"What do you mean it's famous?" I asked, ignoring his latter comment.

"What is this about?"

"Auschwitz! How do people know about it?" I asked slowly, taking care to drag out each word.

"I don't know! I mean, there are photos and of course the witness accounts from the survivors. And I'm pretty sure there were a ton of records taken when it was liberat…" Fabian started to explain.

"There were survivors?" I asked, cutting Fabian off.

"Yes. Of course."

"It… it was liberated?"

"Yeah." Fabian told me, looking thoroughly confused.

"But… they bombed it. And they were going to kill us all…" I said more to myself than anyone.

"You mean the SS?" Fabian asked. I nodded slightly.

"They ran out of time, I think. Most of the camps were abandoned before the evidence could be destroyed. And there were a lot of prisoners that were liberated."

"Liesel." I muttered.

"What?" Fabian asked.

"Liesel could have survived." I said. "Which would make her… 79."

I pushed Fabian out of my way and ran down the back steps.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Fabian yelled to me.

"She could still be alive!" I screamed back. "I'm going to find her!"

"I have to find her."


	21. Glossary

**Glossary**

Because I have been including Polish , Dutch and German words in this story, I have included this glossary to help with translation/understanding. I will update as the story goes on. If you are confused about the meaning of anything or would like something else included in the glossary, PM me. Thanks!-dlouc

**_Polish:_**

**Obóz Zagłady**- Death Camp

**_German:_**

**Vater**- Father

**Motter**- Mother

**Tante**- Aunt

**Schwester**- Sister

**Sterben**- Death

**Schneiden Sie mich aus meiner eigenen Schwester das Leben? Der Nerv**- My sister, just cutting me out of her life?The nerve.

**Pfannkuchens**- Pancakes

**Billigfleisch**- Cheap Meat

_**Dutch:**_

**Pannekoeken**- Pancake**  
**


End file.
